The Autobiography of Magneto X by Erik Lensherr

People will always try to control you. To this, I say, “Nay. I am beautiful, but unique. Like a tiger with spots or a leopard with stripes. It’s evolution. Love it, okay, compadre?”

Call me a rebel, but I have a cause. It’s called “completing an ensemble”. The greatest slaves to duty are slaves to fashion. They mocked me for wearing a helmet. They said capes were against the rules. They put me on notice for being “unfashionable” or “gauche”. Let me tell you something, gentle readers, “gauche” is French for “left”. It’s a compliment. It means you’ve left boring people who wear tweed indoors and who roll around in wheelchairs behind. I know French because after my time with the Nazis, I wandered Europe for a time sweeping floors and singing songs about castles. Cosette in the musical version of Les Miserables was based on me. That’s why she’s the only one who gets to be happy in the end, because that’s how I demand my life to be led.

But back to that time I fought a dinosaur…

p. 508, Vol. 6, The Autobiography of Magneto X, by Erik Lensherr